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Meeting Shame & Blame on the Way To Gratitude

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I’ve learned from my own direct experience, as well as modern-day neuroscience, quantum physics and the shamans of antiquity, that we dream our world into being by virtue of the power of our embodiment— the movement of our emotions, awareness of beliefs, habits of thought, and how and where we focus our attention. Through my own centering practice, I create and offer environments designed to facilitate true self-empowerment and connection to the healing forces and source within you. Through a conscious embodiment of your vital core energy, all of life can be freshly and authentically lived. My intention is always to bring forth your innate wellbeing, happiness and freedom.

A Context for Healing

We can use, as a working definition of trauma: any experience which overwhelms your system to the point of disconnection from your core self. Often in this ‘leaving’, ‘splitting’ or disassociating, one becomes isolated from their own body, other people, as well as their ability to connect with their own authenticity and aliveness. Journeys of genuine transformation to not occur in isolation, but in the presence of consistent support, true company and loving contact, such that the places inside that are yearning for integration can be met. 

Most of the original distortions of our life force — usually leading to a deep misunderstanding about our true identity —derive from the failures of our early developmental environments. If, in those precious early years, we do not experience being seen, supported or connected with (much less, being neglected or abused), a variety of coping strategies are employed to manage and survive the pain. All-too common is a retreat to an inner world, shutting off the feeling senses while our natural life force closes down. Such trauma —and even (perhaps karmic) intergenerational trauma— is a given for all of us on some level, and the inevitable shocks we experience along our developmental path rob us of a deep, crucial innocence and trust in Life, God, and other people, as well as ourselves. Often leading to difficulties in our subtle system’s ability to repair itself and return to its natural baseline of healthy resources.

Human beings tend to internalize and blame themselves for the breaking of this trust, inculcating negative thought patterns like, “I am bad, wrong, deficient or lacking in some way.” This, of course, tends to further fragment and disempower us, creating perceptions of reality that are self-deprecating. 

Constricting mental/emotional energies follow and our biology responds, reciprocating with the creation of an inner climate of stress. Such negative feedback loops can run infinitely, taking us ever-further from our center of truth. These deep black holes of depleting self-worth rob more and more energy from the system, often creating addictions, ill health and, as it continues, the wider social malaise we see all around us. Within such conditions we can recognize deep, systemic, emotional/biological consequences desperately in need of resolution. 

The longer this goes on, the more we identify with this pattern as who I am, as it becomes more and more a crisis of mistaken identity. Our culture feeds on these vulnerable states, which is perhaps the greatest tragedy… but none of this can be interrupted with mental concepts, spiritual platitudes or more consumerism! Have you noticed how incredibly annoying, unsatisfying and isolating it is when someone tries to feed you something in this manner, when what you truly want is some authentic empathy and real company? We need to re-discover our intrinsic wholeness through a relational, neuro-affective and corrective context. 

A Psycho-Spiritual Somatic Approach

The truth is, there is nothing inside your experience that cannot be met with love, kindness, warmth and respect. While you are learning to develop this unconditional dignity in yourself, consider that what you may need most is the loving, wise company of true presence. The rejected, judged, isolated places that we’ve not yet learned how to love and evolve through continue to generate feelings that something is wrong, wounded or missing. On the contrary! What feels blocked, stuck and unwanted is exactly what is needed to reveal the door to our magic.

We just need a safe place to feel, all the way through the emptiness of that black hole, to flourish and bring forth what is alive within — such that we can see/feel through these obstructions. Sometimes it’s too scary to open this door alone… akin to our inner child being in the dark alone with the boogieman under the bed. Sometimes all we need is someone to turn on the light, and sit with us as we look to see what is actually under the bed. Eventually, we can create enough safety and trust to provide this for ourselves.

Maturing into your embodied wholeness and more objective adult-awareness —integrating your story by transforming your life’s traumas and losses into a kind of inner, alchemical medicine— requires growing your capacity to stay present with a larger range of sensory perceptions, feelings and core emotions. As you develop this capacity more and more, your core resources reveal themselves as a new baseline. Connection, attunement, trust, autonomy and a healthy love, sexuality and aliveness emerge.

Through my study in Neuro-Affective Relational Model (NARM), I came to understand and articulate what these core resources are, and I truly love supporting people in their rediscovery. No matter how intense the trauma or unresolved history, I have repeatedly experienced a dimension of being where our inherent dignity, sovereignty and connection to our True Nature abide. Tapping into the Source Spring inside our body allows the undernourished and fragmented aspects of ourselves —which have been so busy surviving and compensating— to come home to the unconditional warmth of our core, where our True Nature is most tangibly felt.

The art to this approach requires a vigilance against our tendency to use spirituality as a way to bypass and disassociate from the body —from hurts of the past that continue to color our present— while also avoiding negative perceptions of self, other and world… traps that arise through misidentification. Along with this gentle sheathing, you’ll receive deep support in exploring the primacy of your essential ground, safety and trust— where your internal circuitry will grow and you’ll rediscover the presence of your deepest truth and present-time, objective awareness.

It is my pleasure and true honor to “hold your hand” as you cross the tenuous bridge from mental concepts and future projections into a fully-embodied sense of reality that can be tangibly felt in the living Now. Our loving attention will be brought to anything that appears to be blocking the way, as you turn toward the light and power of your soul essence. In this way, you will discover the agency that has always been your birthright, and you will co-create with Spirit, from this place of surrender and connection to your core self-awareness, the Life that you know you were born to Live.

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